If you’re the type of person who scours the internet for articles like this, it’s probably safe to assume that you’ve got love and not lust on your mind. You always want love for yourself and those who are closest to you.
Of course, not everyone is going to prioritize love; not all people are going to place love so high up on their list of priorities. Not all people are going to consider love as an integral aspect of finding happiness and a sense of self-fulfillment.
But it would probably be safe to assume that no one would ever turn down the idea of getting a happy-ever-after kind of fairytale ending for themselves. Whenever presented with the opportunity, most people are always going to want to pursue a happy ending.
Now it begs to ask the question: when can we be really sure when the opportunity to pursue love in our lives is a real one? How do we know that we’re not just falling into a trap that is eventually going to destroy us on an emotional level?
You might not want to hear the truth, but a lot of times, we have a tendency to blind ourselves to the many red flags that are present in early relationships. You might be so in love with your partner and you become so desperate for that love to work that you end up not seeing the fact that you’re in a relationship built on lust, not love.
And it can be very easy to confuse the two because, at face value, they can often look and feel the same. Both emotions can be very intense, passionate, and comforting at the same time. You might think that you’re getting really deep even though you aren’t even really scratching the surface just yet. And despite all these similarities, there are some very prominent distinctions between the two that you have to be aware of.
According to leading experts in the field of love and relationships, love isn’t necessarily something that you can manifest out of nothing. It’s something that requires a lot of real effort and conscious thought. Lust is more uncontrollable.
It’s something that can either be there or not. And here’s where the big difference lies: love has many depths and layers to it while lust doesn’t. But how does that help you in determining whether your relationship is built on love or lust? Here are a few signs you can be on the lookout for:
1. Your partner is taking things really fast in the relationship.
This is the biggest telltale sign that it’s all about lust in your relationship. You have to know that real love isn’t something that is formed in a matter of seconds. Love is always something that has to be built over time. Love is like a fine wine; it gets better with age. And you really have to give it the time to grow and come into its own. Love can’t be instantaneous.
2. You’re getting sore from all of the sex.
You know that you’re having TOO MUCH sex when you’re getting physically sore from it. It’s as if your sex is getting even more intense than your actual workouts at the gym. You don’t want the sex to be taking away from the other aspects of your life. You only want sex to be enriching your relationship; you don’t want it to be totally encompassing it.
3. Your partner never texts you back when you just want to talk.
There will be times in your relationship wherein you will just want to talk to your partner. There will be moments wherein you will look for genuine advice; or when you are just craving for a real connection with a person. And if your partner doesn’t make you feel like they’re available to you in these moments, then you know it’s all about lust.
4. You don’t really know anything deep or intimate about them.
Other than the fact that you know they like to have sex with you, you don’t really know much about them. They don’t really open up about the most intimate aspects of their life. They don’t really talk to you about the inner depths of their soul. They don’t have deep and intimate conversations with you at all. It’s always just small talk or sensual conversations.
5. Your partner always wants to be in control of the relationship.
You don’t get a voice in this relationship. You aren’t really made to feel like you have a say in anything. This is very real proof that your partner only sees you as some kind of object. They don’t acknowledge the person underneath your physical exterior.
6. You don’t really find any resolutions to your fights.
If your partner walks away from your fights, then that means that they aren’t invested in your relationship on an emotional level. They aren’t really interested in overcoming the issues that you might have with one another.